My name is Bella Florence. Welcome to my blog.
I began Destination Recovery in March of 2017 to share my experience, strength, and hope in recovery from anorexia nervosa, which at the time held center stage in my life.
I now use this space to share about my recovery at large, from multiple eating disorders, mental illness, and codependency in relationships.
I write about my treatment (including individual therapy, family therapy, psychiatric therapy, nutritional counseling, residential eating disorder treatment, and 12-step recovery), as well as my everyday life in recovery.
I write about leaving my demons in the past and coming into my higher purpose.
I write about the transformation of my recovery from mental & physical to emotional & spiritual.
I write about my sexuality, not directly related to my recovery per se, but if I am the product of my recovery, then my recovery includes the whole of my identity.
This blog is a work in progress. As I grow, it grows. As I change, it changes. But in the midst of this evolution, one value remains the same:
My one unconditional standard.
Honesty is my spiritual practice.
I care that my words are truthful.
I care that they come from my heart.
I care that they reflect love for me and for those included in my story.
This practice of honesty connects me with my purpose, which is to tell stories and make theatre.
This blog is one of those stories.
It is my own, personal story.
Neil Gaiman says, “You never learn how to write a novel. You only learn to write the novel you’re on.”
I find this to be true of every project I create, whether it be a piece of theatre, an interaction with a friend, or the architecture of this blog. I don’t know what the outcome of this blog will be; I learn as I go. One of my recent learning curves relates to the value of anonymity.
Anonymity is something I’ve long struggled with. I have blown anonymity in the past on this blog, mentioning people prior to asking them and at times using real names. I have since revised these errors, and any name you see is an alias. That said, to anyone I have ever mentioned by name, or to anyone I have ever offended, I apologize. That was never my intention.
I mentioned above that I am in 12-step recovery. Anonymity is the cornerstone of all 12-step programs, hence my newfound respect for this value.
Several 12-step programs exist, most famous of which is Alcoholics Anonymous. For the sake of my own anonymity, I will keep the name of my program. I will simply refer to it as “12-step.”
Much of my vocabulary has been derived from my 12-step program, such as the words “experience, strength, and hope.” The program has also taught me the value of keeping the focus on yourself.
Only I can speak to my experience.
Only you can speak to yours.
Recovery is personal.
To recover is to come into your own.
With that, I grant you permission to explore.
I’m grateful for your presence, and I wish you all my love.