Welcome

My name is Bella Florence. Welcome to my blog.

I began Destination Recovery in March of 2017 to share my experience, strength, and hope in recovery from anorexia nervosa, which at the time held center stage in my life.

But anorexia is not all of my story. I am also a recovering food addict, exercise addict, and orthorexic (aka, health addict).

Food addiction got me first. It compromised me long before anorexia did. For most of my life, when I started to eat, I was unable to stop. That’s why, when I finally developed anorexia, I was hard pressed to let it go.

But let it go I did. I let all addiction go. Each and every day, I continue to do so.

I now use this space to share about my recovery at large, from multiple eating disorders, mental illness, and codependency in relationships.

I write about my treatment (including individual therapy, family therapy, psychiatric therapy, nutritional counseling, residential eating disorder treatment, and 12-step recovery), as well as life as I experience it now.

I write about the transformation of my recovery from mental & physical to emotional & spiritual.

I write about my sexuality, not directly related to my recovery per se, but if I am the product of my recovery, then my recovery includes the whole of my identity.

I also write about race: whiteness, racism, and Anti-Racism. After strengthening my recovery, I realized, this is the work I want to do. This is the work my eating disorder was preventing me from fully doing.

Now, I am healthy. Now, I can do it fully. Thus, my recovery from disordered eating and my recovery from the disease of whiteness are complementary and belong on the same blog.*

*In order to read or engage with this blog in any capacity, it is mandatory that you subscribe to Nicole Cardoza’s newsletter, Anti-Racism Daily. Click here to do so.

This blog is a work in progress. As I grow, it grows. As I change, it changes. But in the midst of this evolution, one value remains the same:

Honesty – my unconditional standard. Honesty is my spiritual practice.

I care that my words are truthful.
I care that they come from my heart.
I care that they reflect love for me and for those included in my story.

This practice of honesty connects me with my purpose – to tell stories.

This blog is one of those stories.
It is my own, personal story.

Neil Gaiman says, “You never learn how to write a novel. You only learn to write the novel you’re on.”

I find this to be true of every project I create, whether it be a piece of theatre, an interaction with a friend, or the architecture of this blog. I don’t know what the outcome of this blog will be; I learn as I go.

I dream of a world in which eating disorders don’t exist.
Maybe that’s wishful thinking; then again, maybe it’s not.

Thank you for witnessing my humble contribution.
I now grant you permission to explore.

This blog is dedicated to everyone, everywhere, who has ever struggled with an eating disorder.

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