Mindful or Manic?

Dear Rex: I'm struggling mentally. And I don't have you to show for it.  Don't have you to validate it. It sucks. It's time like these when I miss you most. It's my thoughts, you see, it's my thoughts. They're off the hook. How should I describe it...It's like I'm looking down on a still... Continue Reading →


Am I "less gay" because I came out "late" in adolescence? Of course not. But I feel that I'm received that way.  Yesterday I was walking down the street and I decided to call a family member. At the end of our phone call, out of the blue, they asked that I not "close the doors" on... Continue Reading →

Happiness is an Inside Job

Ok, here's the deal: my inner critic is on fire. And it's fucking with me. Big time.  "Fucking with you big time?" That's hyperbole if I've ever heard some. Good writers make their words stand out.  Take, for example, these past few weeks: I unlock my computer, add a new tab, arrive at my site, and hit... Continue Reading →

Turkey Day

It's been weeks since I've allowed myself to write. More than that. About myself, that is. Now that I'm healthy my words lack meaning. Who wants to hear about how great my life is going? Good art never came from happy people! (No offense to happy artists. Hey, I'm one of them now.) I'm writing... Continue Reading →

Trick or Treat!

Most of my posts these days are quite recovery-oriented, but I want to raise awareness for the uglier parts of the process. In honor Halloween (yeah yeah, I'm one week late, I know), I'm throwing it back to my Halloween in residential treatment. Below is where I was and how I felt that day: October... Continue Reading →

Weighed to Perfection

"You're perfect." Fuck! Why is "you're perfect" driving me crazy? That's obviously the best case scenario, right? But does "you're perfect" mean "you're literally perfect, like you're back in your weight range," or does it mean, "you're close, you maintained, you didn't lose, etc." ?  Below is what I sent to Jan on Saturday morning:... Continue Reading →


Last week I had the honor of celebrating 33 years of sobriety with my dear family friend, who shall remain anonymous. I joined him at his meeting and heard him and the other honorees speak. Much of what I heard resonated with me, as while we have different vices, their origins are the same. My... Continue Reading →

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