skin & space (a breakdown)

I can’t move
What is
I’m
taking up space

I I I 

cannot sit still
cannot escape

the roundness of my face
the flesh beneath my jaw
the swivel of my hips
the thickness of my thighs
they shrink my eyes
and punish my stature
slight to begin with
now with no hope

Farewell,
pink cloud
it’s been a ride

Don’t get too comfortable
because, that’s right–
I could slide back any time

Today I feel the tug.

He e e lp

but there’s no one
and nobody can
no longer a myth or a hypothetical 
but a fact that was never supposed to exist

I just don’t recognize
I miss
I miss

Effortless movement
Slipping through cracks
The narrow container
The negative mass

I latch the door and hit the wall
Silent moans and hot tears and wheezes and gasps and I hope I don’t hold people up outside
Whatever, the men’s room is open
Besides, fuck gendered bathrooms

I just don’t know I just don’t recognize I miss
I miss
I miss
It’s the skin the skin the excess skin

    And I
s
a
g
and
p
r
o
t
r
u
d
e
and I take up space

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