It’s a rainy Saturday morning.
I love the rain.
I consider it a shower from the Universe.
I would love to have my wedding in the rain.
I wouldn’t plan it that way, of course.
But, if it happened, I would not complain.
I would shout,
“HOORAY! Thank you, Rain! Thank you for cleansing us on this blessed day!”
What a beautiful way to start a marriage. Refreshed, renewed, cleansed of all past energy. Rain is nature’s holy water.
I love the wind, too. It’s invigorating. Sometimes it blows so hard, I fly. Sometimes it even hurts. But it’s just playing – wind loves to play.
So do I.
I love to play.
Bella Rose Florence just LOVES to play.
She mostly loves to play in nature. Here, see for yourself:
I hugged several trees on my walk home last night, breathing deeply into each one. I could have fallen asleep like that. I placed my hands on the ground, too, feeling the rich, damp soil.
Ah, the earth. I am a child of the earth. I’m pure Taurus. At times, I feel I have the energy of a dog. Other times, I feel like a tree, or a fern – like a long lime green leaf swaying in the wind.
Perhaps I’ll incarnate as a plant some day. Perhaps I already have. In fact, when I die, I’d like to have my ashes buried in a flowered garden. Of course, by then, I could change my mind – but in this moment that sounds nice.
I also love to play naked – but there’s a time and place for that.
I love my sense of play, and I love my sexuality. The two are closely tied; they remind me of chicken and egg.
Which came first, I wonder, play or sexuality?
Which is the chicken?
Which is the egg?
Egg relates to fertility which relates to sexuality, so does that make play the chicken?
On an unrelated note, I drafted this in green – the color of nature, the color of life – using a pen I “borrowed” from my roommate. My dad likes to say, “I have one rule: never buy a pen.”
Currently, I own just two pens – both basic black, one newly exploded. My roommate is out of town, and when I passed by her desk this morning, I just couldn’t resist this bold green beauty. I am a woman of integrity, however, so I promptly let her know, and I hereby vow to return it.
Margaret, I’m talking to you.*
* If your name is Margaret and you are confused, I am not talking to you. This Margaret definitely knows who she is. Let’s just say, it’s an alias.
I read what I’ve just written and I’m overcome with gratitude. Gratitude for play, gratitude for ink pens, gratitude A+ aliases… Hence the title “Attitude of Gratitude.”
I learned about gratitude in residential treatment. It was my favorite coping skill there. In fact, when I discharged, my therapist gave me a “Gratitude” Mantra Band.
Mantra Bands are stainless steel bracelets with a word or phrase carved into them, like “Let it go” or “Breathe.” My treatment center gave one to each client upon discharge. As previously mentioned, mine said “Gratitude.” My primary therapist picked it out, and nailed it. I’ve never actually worn the bracelet, but yeah: she nailed it.
So yes, I’m grateful – for all of life, but particularly nature’s playground. I’m a germaphobe, yet I feel cleaner in nature than I do inside. I’d sooner wade with the ducks than sit in an office building. Sterile, industrial complexes soil my soul inside. I want a soul with texture, not a soul that’s sanitized.
May we all find joy in nature today! May we all frolic like pigs in the mud! Whether you choose to play naked or clothed, I hope you have lots of fun.
In closing, I would like to say that the opinions expressed here are entirely my own; take what you like and leave the rest. If this post spoke to you, share it! Recovery is for all.