I read a piece from The Daily Om last week called “Finding Our Life’s Work.” The author, Madison Taylor, writes, “Your most important work in this lifetime may not be your job – it’s a conviction within your soul, recognizable if you allow it to shine.” My life’s work is Recovery and sharing Recovery. So today, I’m here to share recovery.
You're proof to me of the presence and power of love on this planet. I also believe in honesty and aim to practice it in every moment. This is my truth in this moment. So it doesn't matter if my feelings change.
I got proof in that moment of the exchange of abundance. I got proof in that moment of the exchange of love. I got proof that what we put into this world, we really do receive in turn. I got proof that no matter what happens, I am fully supported by life. I need only trust and surrender, and my every need will be met.
Before I was anorexic, I was a compulsive overeater; anorexia was my means of combatting that - admittedly, the wrong solution. However, while I've been quite vocal about my recovery from anorexia, I've been fairly silent about my binging. My binge eating disorder is one of the "disowned parts" of my story and myself.
Let me start by saying that I understand. I understand all you expressed in your last letter. I myself struggle with attachment issues, which I have come to define as codependency. I use the word "struggle" carefully, because while it is true that I'm challenged by this "disease" as one may call it - as I myself call it - as I feel and believe that it is -, I consciously choose to operate from the opposite space.
A letter to a friend who has made it to the Big Leagues: Dear Friend: I'm coming to you live with another open letter because I need to. I need to for the sake of authenticity. I need to because my walls are coming back. I feel them. Letting you into my recovery scares me,... Continue Reading →
To my nutritionist, AKA my Fairy Godmother: Well, FG, I'll have you know that I'm glowing. Without weighing myself, I know my weight has restored, with the help of midnight snacking (and lots of it; multiple jars of nut butter have been consumed, consciously, and I’m fine with that), sleeping, daily writing of a body... Continue Reading →
On my first day of rehab, I was asked the following: You are taking a big step in your journey towards recovery. How does it feel to take this step? What are your worries? What are you excited about in your transition to our center? Here was my response: I'm learning to love myself and take ownership of my happiness and health. I'm beginning to realize that I am more than my external motivators: more than my accomplishments, more than my activities, more than exercise, and... Continue Reading →
"I am proactively healing my body. I am creating a healthy body. My weight is normalizing. I now release all blocks that prevent me from having and maintaining a healthy body, and I am restored to balance."-Bella Florence January 30, 2019: It’s 10 o’clock on a Wednesday morning, day 3 of my sophomore spring. 72... Continue Reading →