To truly detach, I have to humble myself by admitting I don't know what is best. I have to believe that everyone lives their lives as perfectly as they can - that they have something specific to learn from their experience. And I have to give them the dignity of learning it.
We've all heard the saying, "it starts in the home." This is often applied to behavior of children in school. In this case, my body is my home, and the planet is my school. How I treat my body reflects itself in how I treat my environment.
Using my voice keeps me healthy. It is the difference between sickness and health. When I let go of my eating disorder, I knew I had to replace it with something of meaning. I had to cultivate a space where my voice was at the center. So, I started a blog to tell my story.
I’m writing about a scene from Rocketman. About “Take Me to the Pilot.” I have always loved Elton John. I grew up on him. First the Beatles, then Queen, then him. Rock entered me young. While I met the Beatles in the womb, Elton did not enter my life till later—let’s say 9. My dad... Continue Reading →
I notice that I feel scared that I will never make it in life. I remember this fear is irrational because I have already made it because we have all already made because there is no such thing as making it or not making it because I have already been cast in the ultimate dream role, myself.
Food is a part of my narrative - that I can't deny -but my journey with it has shaped me for the better. Had I not gone through my journey with food and my body, I wouldn't be in recovery, I wouldn't be writing this blog, and I wouldn't be living the amazing life that I am living today.
I thought about saying something to this woman, about using it as a teachable moment, but I didn't. I felt too reactive. I didn't want to come at her from a negative place. I didn't want to accuse or attack her. I didn't want my subtext to be "shame on you." In short, I didn't trust my motives.
This post is dedicated to the Elle Woods of my own understanding. Imagine a day in the future when you're free from your eating disorder: I live in New York City, in an apartment-style dorm in Greenwich Village. I spend my days studying theatre, communications, art therapy, psychology, nutrition, Spanish, Italian, and Japanese, and I... Continue Reading →