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Coming Clean About My Relationship With Food and Food Addiction

For the past 3 years, I have been “out and proud” about my relationship with anorexia. But there’s another part of my disease that I’ve been less “out” about - food addiction. I have struggled with food addiction since before I turned one year old.  I probably "came out" about my anorexia first because it... Continue Reading →

Open Letter to Corona

The Healing Power of Imagination https://soundcloud.com/user-486908167/open-letter-to-corona-march-2020 Click here to listen on SoundCloud March 22nd, 2020New Orleans, LA As I type, it is 79 degrees in sunny New Orleans. I'm lying on the porch of my childhood home, left leg in pigeon pose, surgical mask and nitrile gloves shielding my skin, in case I carry the... Continue Reading →

Sublime Starvation: Shedding Pounds, Gaining Worth

An Academic Perspective on Eating Disorders - April 2017 When considering eating disorders, the obvious cause is vanity: an insecure teenager girl peruses Cosmopolitan and starves herself to look like the model on the cover. More often than not, however, an eating disorder is a coping skill for deeper pain. Focusing on one’s exterior distracts... Continue Reading →

The Rat Race. The Treadmill.

Every night before I went to bed, I’d plan when to work out the next day, and every morning when I woke up, it was the first thing I thought of. If the treadmill became hard to access, or if I hadn’t had my workout yet, I’d be touchy, agitated, bristly, and hard to talk to. I was like an alcoholic, but rather than needing a drink, I needed the treadmill.

Sexual Confusion

You are what you eat. I want to eat lesbians. I want to taste the rainbow, to eat sexual skittles. I want to be gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, forever. But what if I'm not? What if I'm bi? I have no doubt that my lesbian identity was truthful, but what if I've outgrown it? What if it's too rigid for the person I am now - the whole, expansive person I am now?

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