Ok, here's the deal: my inner critic is on fire. And it's fucking with me. Big time. "Fucking with you big time?" That's hyperbole if I've ever heard some. Good writers make their words stand out. Take, for example, these past few weeks: I unlock my computer, add a new tab, arrive at my site, and hit... Continue Reading →
I'm a white girl and I have white privilege. And that privilege is really bad. I've long been aware of the racial inequality in our country: how could I not? I live here. But while it upsets, me I've hesitated to speak out for fear of misusing language, "tokenizing" people victimized by the system, or... Continue Reading →
I love being the skinniest girl. I love being the tiniest girl. I can't threaten that. This morning in core we did weight-sharing and Hannah, Julia, and Lily were talking about how I literally weigh nothing, but I'm so strong, and Lily said she sometimes watches me when I run and I look like a fairy "prancing." How am I supposed to gain weight after hearing that?
I just realized something. Unconsciously, my eating disorder & weight manipulation are ways to show I'm hurting. The blog is a great substitute because it publicizes my shit without compromising my physical health. I know I sound like an attention whore, but I'm just being honest. It would be worse if I denied it. As I write,... Continue Reading →
I don’t even know where to begin right now, I’m so conflicted, I have so many mixed feelings, I’m not even sure if I should be blogging this stuff because it doesn’t directly have to do with my eating disorder but then again this blog is about my recovery and health and wellbeing and just... Continue Reading →