Every night before I went to bed, I’d plan when to work out the next day, and every morning when I woke up, it was the first thing I thought of. If the treadmill became hard to access, or if I hadn’t had my workout yet, I’d be touchy, agitated, bristly, and hard to talk to. I was like an alcoholic, but rather than needing a drink, I needed the treadmill.
Using my voice keeps me healthy. It is the difference between sickness and health. When I let go of my eating disorder, I knew I had to replace it with something of meaning. I had to cultivate a space where my voice was at the center. So, I started a blog to tell my story.
Food is a part of my narrative - that I can't deny -but my journey with it has shaped me for the better. Had I not gone through my journey with food and my body, I wouldn't be in recovery, I wouldn't be writing this blog, and I wouldn't be living the amazing life that I am living today.